I was told: “Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.”

My answer: I can't help but not give up, even when I've had no more tears to cry and the ache has become a physical pain so strong that I'm doubled over and holding on to memories of you to salve the pain, cos only I know how much you mean to me.

I thought yesterday might give me the closure. It didn't. I didn't deserve the "what are you doing here (at Jalan Besar)?" puzzled glare you threw at me. Nor the repeated looks you threw my way, waiting, testing to see if I'd acknowledge you. It's my way of telling you I'm stronger and more in control of my feelings over you then I was. I'm sorry for smothering my laugh at your wayward kick of the ball so close to the stands, but I've told you before on one of those train rides I miss so bad, you're a pleasure to watch. You make it harder for me not to fall for you all over again. I even feel like I'm bloody cheatin' on you when I gape at some other hot guy. You've done this to me and I don't deserve being a slave to you- heart, mind, body and soul. I know it's wrong to want what I can't have but you refuse to end this once and for all.

I miss you just as much as I love you. XOXO.