That comprehension struck me like a cannonball shot straight to the head. I got that nice warm feeling because I had you. I had that feeling that you were at the destination I was reaching, that it was your 'area'. Then I remembered all that has happened and I sobered up. That love-drunk feeling has still left me bereft of anything remotely connected to hope. I tried to ignore the feeling and instead tried to plant happier memories into my mind (the opposite of the movie I was on the way to watch, Inception, of which I will explain my stand on later in this post) but failed quite miserably when your pictures take up most of the pictures in my moby. Then I look out the window of the train and I see your place. I chide myself for craving you at that point. Then I look over at the expressway and I see the exit for Elias Road. The sniffles disappear, but the ache continued.
Lavin saw right through me. I tapped out of the station and struggled (on hindsight I must have really been upset if I couldn't slip on the 'everything's just peachy' smile) to maintain my 'exuberant' mood since she was looking forward to watching Inception. I also didn't go to watch his match. I knew he wasn't playing cos of the last match's penalty against Beijing (the suckers didn't even score with that penalty shot, looks like God knew what the kayu (for the non- Singaporean readers: Malay for incompetent) ref didn't see, HUR! But that awkward feeling of not being 'there' for him irked me. I remember what Nesh told me about giving up and the reasons that made me hold on.. but it's just too complicated to coax my mind around this. Anyway, Sengkang scored thanks to DDE's brilliant (I do not use this term lightly) 'lovely' left foot from the corner and won the match. I know.... shocker that I didn't watch his match (neither at Jalan Besar nor at [double shocker *quick intake of breath*] home in front of the telly even though the match was telecast live. I did record it and will prolly get down to watching it the moment I'm up tmr. I did manage to find out the score cos I absolutely, positively, definitely won't be able to sleep if I don't know the results. They won, 1-0. :D
I'm not afraid to enter into a new relationship. My detractors may question the speed at which I could (if I do) a new relationship but I know that it's not a rebound, it's just moving on with my life. I wasted so many months while I pined for AJ back then but I'm older (I keep getting reminded of that fact) and more mature and I know what I want.
Oh , and I sighed at least 20 times throughout Inception, rested my head through the show on one arm and slouched in my seat all because I was TOTALLY bored. I kept scolding myself for going against my gut feeling and paying ten bucks to watch such a stupid show. I give credit to the action sequences and Joseph Gordon-Levitt but little else. Qi, William and YT went on and on about it in class and I'm sitting in the theatre and wondering what the hell could they have been discussing when I was bored out of my mind an hour through. I couldn't wait for it to end, not the same reason as Akram and Lavin (the cold) but I was just... uninterested after a while. I'm gonna stick to my rom-coms and hot-actors-in-the movie types in future.
Just so no one gets upset/mad/outraged that I'm putting down this movie, I couldnt' be bothered to watch blue men running around the screen (Avatar) or sci-fi that makes no sense cos everything is as dark as the glass worn by the actors (Matrix). I eventually watched Avatar cos my brother was watching the DVD and I was on break. Wait, I walked off for about half an hour and still knew what was going on... so yeah. But I feel like Inception is an Avatar-Matrix cross. James Cameron should just stick to Batman movies. I can't wait (I know you're as excited as I am, woman) to watch Gordon-Levitt as the The Riddler in the next Batman installment. Oh by the way, the only thing that I really recall of Inception was the phrase about thoughts not being able to be implanted cos the brain would track the genesis of the thought and when it doesn't recognise it then it'll realise it was planted... and the part where Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Ellen Page kiss.
Bring on the discussion Qi, can't wait.