Then comes those old feelings, all tumbling back, waiting to wage war between the heart and the mind. The heart telling me to go curl up next to him on the couch, eat popcorn and watch a movie with no qualm in my heart that what I'm doing is right. Then the brain takes over, blowing said theory to kingdom come leaving me all empty and having to fill the shell with completing assignments so I don't feel the pain I've learnt to numb appropriately.
I've enjoyed the past few days, tension and all. Rides home with a certain maniacal driver and highly opinionated passenger in the backseat with a deadly fear not being safety belted to her seat. The zig-zags and erratic turns play out in front of me and its then that it dawns on me- THAT's exactly what life is like- and I enjoyed the drive, irregardless.
KL was the escape I needed.. the rejuvinating boost that I yearned. Even if it meant seeing the one I love unconditionally, knowing deep inside that the smile I light up without apprehension may only be that- a smile. I'm no longer a fool, no longer indecisive and undecided. Its over with 'you' and 'you' and 'you' but in with the 'them', 'me' and HIM. Yay.
Thanks for teaching me things in the quiet way you do, Nat. (: